


A Pirate Party Always Ends in Blood

by conceptstage



Series: Single Chapter Critical Role [9]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Dancing, Day Three prompt, Mollymauk Lives Fest, Pirates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-26 00:29:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19756888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/conceptstage/pseuds/conceptstage
Summary: Mollymauk Lives Fest 2019 Day Three: Pirates / Dancing





	A Pirate Party Always Ends in Blood

“You sure they’re gonna let us in?” Beau asked, shifting at the bow of the boat. 

Caleb sighed and looked down at the letter in his hand. “That is what the letter said,” he muttered. 

Molly was vibrating in excitement on her other side, his eyes wide and wild. “Darktow,” he mumbled, leaning against the wood railing and grinning like a mad fool. “Well, I for one, am extremely excited. All the stories Jester has told me… there’s no way this place could possibly live up to them but I’m excited to find out.”

Beau shrugged. “It is pretty great. We weren’t around for long but it seems like a fun time.”

“Ja,” Said Caleb next. “It was one of the many places we were not allowed to come back to.” He weakly waved the letter. “But apparently it is under new management and she’s throwing a party. Plank King Ettie ‘Red Mane’ Burscette.”

Molly rubbed his hands together. “And she’s throwing a party. My kind of King. When do we find out if we’re still banned?”

Beau pointed to the cannons in the distance. “When we get in range of those.” She looked over her shoulder. “Fjord!” she called. He gave her a thumbs up to let her know he saw what she saw. She sighed and turned back. “We’ll be in range in about five minutes. Be prepared, we might need to make a quick getaway.” She turned away and went up to stand beside her captain, leaving Mollymauk and Caleb alone by the railing.

They remained quiet for a moment, a tense air in their lungs, until five minutes passed. Then ten minutes passed and they continued getting closer and closer but the canons didn’t take a shot at them.

“We may be in the clear,” Molly said.

Caleb still looked tense and uncomfortable. “Possibly. Stay on your guard, Mollymauk.”

“Always, Mr. Caleb.” He winked and Caleb looked away.

No one shot them five minutes later, or ten minutes later, or fifteen minutes later when they lowered the sails and drifted between the towers. Molly could see people watching them from the top and a man in red directed them to an open slip. As the crew scrambled to get them tied off and situated, Beau and Fjord put down the plank. There was a woman waiting at the dock for them with a flaming red pixie cut, a soft, sweet face, and bright red lipstick. She was wearing a dress with a leather harness that seemed more for fashion than for function and heavy duty boots that were stained with blood. Beau frowned from the deck as Fjord started to step down and Molly and Caleb stepped up beside her.

“Who is that?” Caleb asked.

“My guess?” Molly started. “Plank King Red Mane.”

Jester skipped up with Caduceus close behind and grinned. “She looks so nice though.”

Beau sneered and moved to follow Fjord. “Don’t underestimate her. She had to kill the old Plank King to get the job. I used to be cute too and people underestimated me all the time, to their detriment.”

“You’re still cute, Beau!” Jester argued, hurriedly following her.

“Yeah, but now she also looks extremely shady so that cancels it out.”

“Don’t fucking call me cute, Molly, that’s disgusting.” But she turned to Jester with a lazy smile. “But thanks, Jes.”

Molly rolled his eyes. “I can appreciate someone’s looks without being attracted to them, you’re still not my type.”

“Fuck you.”

“Go fuck you-”

“Molly!” Fjord called as Beau and Jester reached the bottom of the plank. “Caleb, come meet the Plank King.”

Molly and Caleb exchanged and glance but then Molly started sauntering down the plank.

Plank King Ettie ‘Red Mane’ Burscette grinned widely at them as they came close. “Oh, I’m so darn pleased to meet y’all,” she said in the same accent as Fjord. Nott gasped, appearing by Fjord’s feet, and looked between them with interest in her eyes while Fjord tried to ignore her. “I’m just tickled pink you could make it. I’m the new Plank King, but you can just call me Ettie, everybody does. The party starts tomorrow, I’ve already arranged some rooms for you.”

Beau sneered, suspicion in her stance. “Why would you invite us here?” she asked. “The last Plank King told us we could never come back.”

“The last Plank King was a fool. That’s why he’s dead, darlin’. He couldn’t see a good opportunity through the dead man’s hair in his face. But I’m smarter than that, I know that you folk are good allies to have. It was thanks to your show with Avantika that I stand here today. With that distraction, my coup was able to slip right under the radar. And I hope that we can all be good friends.” She didn’t seem bothered by Beau’s suspicions but the men behind her gave Beau a sour look that Beau just shrugged off with a roll of her eyes.

Ettie turned and started into town. Fjord and Beau exchanged and glance and Beau frowned, shaking her head. “I don’t like this,” she muttered, but she moved to follow.

Fjord shrugged and jogged to keep pace. “I think you’re overreacting. She seems really sincere.”

“They always do.”

Molly snickered behind her. “You’re just being weird because you’re attracted to her.”

“Hey, that has nothing to do with this, I just find powerful women hot, that isn’t clouding my fucking judgement.” One of the men guarding Ettie must have heard her because he turned and glared at her and Beau shrugged. “Mind your own fucking business, fucker.”

They made it to the tavern as the sun was dipping below the horizon. “I need a drink,” Molly said, leaning heavily against Beau’s shoulder. He grinned at her and poked her cheek when she snarled at him and she snapped at him like she was going to bite him but he snatched his hand away. They stepped through the front door of the tavern and Molly started steering her towards the bar. “What do you want, my friend? It’s on me tonight.”

Beau frowned and glanced over her shoulder at Fjord and Ettie who were chatting amiably. “I’m not drinking tonight.”

He gasped theatrically and playfully. “Are you dead? Are you dying? Are you possessed?”

Beau rolled her eyes and shook off his hand. “I don’t want my senses dulled while we’re here. I want to be on top of my game.”

Molly sighed. “Acting like you’re suspicious makes it less likely that they’ll speak freely around you,” he whispered, though he was smiling serenely. “If you pretend, like me, that you trust them, they will be more open to you.”

“Then you do that and I’ll do this and we’ll cover both fronts. I’ll be vigilant and you’ll be personable.”

He picked up a mug of ale from beside a man who had passed out in the next chair over and downed it, sarcastically saluting her with the mug when it was empty. “Deal. You probably could not be personable even if you tried, it’s really best that we do it like this.” When he sat down the mug, he pulled a tube of lipstick out of his pocket and refreshed it, smacking his lips to even it out.

Beau rolled her eyes. “Fuck you. I’ve been getting much better at dealing with people since you died.” 

Molly had been back for months and that was the first time she’d talked about his death. He smiled and put his hand back on her shoulder and this time she did not shake it away. “I’ve noticed. You’re doing very well, but maybe let the professional handle something this delicate.”

She shrugged. “I prefer to be on the outside anyway,” she said, but Molly thought it was mostly a half truth. She was good at being on the outside and finding things out that way, but part of her probably wanted to be on the inside with everyone else.

He grabbed her by the sides of her face and pulled her down to kiss her forehead and she made a noise of disgust and pushed him away. “If anything shady is going on here, us working together will find it.”

She sneered and wiped at the mark his still wet deep purple lipstick had left on her forehead, but it had dried on her face and didn’t wipe away, even when she licked her thumb and scrubbed at it. “Was that mug drugged, how fucking drunk are you?”

He smirked. “Just wanted to make you walk around with lipstick on your face all night. Because it’s funny.”

“Fuck you, Molly,” she hissed as he walked away, still scrubbing her thumb over the mark and then frowning when she pulled her finger away and foudn that none of the lipstick had come off. “What the fuck did you use, this shit isn’t coming off!”

The festivities started surprisingly early, but Molly suspected that it was just an excuse to skip work and start drinking at eight in the morning. The main bulk of the partygoers congregated in the town square. There was one large hardwood table on the side closest to the docks. With Ettie sitting at the center, Fjord sitting on her left side, and Jester sitting on Fjord’s other side. Fjord and Ettie was chatting like old friends and Jester was pouting, but Molly though it was mostly from being left out of the conversation between captains and not so much jealousy since it had been clear since last night that Ettie had a preference for brown skinned women with undercuts.

“She’s looking at you again,” Molly mumbled, elbowing Beau gently on the side.

She looked up from the book she was reading and frowned when she caught Ettie’s eyes. “She invited me back to her palace last night,” she muttered back. 

“And you turned her down,” Molly asked, disbelieving.

“I’d probably wake up post sex with a knife in my back. It’s extremely hot but I’m not keen to die yet.”

“Do you fall asleep right after sex? I suspected as much.”

Beau rolled her eyes. “Fuck you, you know what I mean.” She shrugged and waved him off. “Whatever, I think she just knows I don’t trust her as far as Caleb could throw her and she’s trying to get on my good side.”

“I agree.” He looked over his shoulder and saw one of the men who had been guarding Ettie yesterday making his way towards them, trying to blend into the crowd and failing. “Would you like to dance?”

“I would rather eat glass.”

“We’re being overheard.”

Beau glanced over his shoulder and saw what he’d seen. She sighed and took the hand that he offered her. “Don’t say anything smart about this. I’ll kick your ass.”

“I have never said anything smart in my entire life.”

She frowned and he started pulling her out to the center of the dance area. People were spinning and laughing and drinking around the dancefloor. It looked like they were all attempting to do the same folk dance, but everyone was at different parts, all out of step and out of time, but having a fantastic time. “I don’t have anything mean to say back to that. That’s annoying, you’re supposed to let me roast you, you can’t just roast yourself.”

“I knew it would annoy you, that’s why I did it.”

“Dick.”

He grinned and pulled her into his space. They left enough space between themselves that it didn’t get uncomfortable, but they held each other’s hands and tried to pick one of the other dancers who seemed like they knew what they were doing to copy her. They moved in a spiral around the dance floor, Beau keeping her eyes on the man who had been coming towards them and Molly watching Ettie with Fjord.

“What do you think?” she asked, when it was clear that no one was close enough to hear them now. “Any ideas? Any clues I might have missed.”

“Nothing of note, nothing you haven’t seen for yourself. You’re surprisingly good at this.”

Beau sighed. “Once upon a time, I took dance lessons. Back before the shit hit the fan. Stop changing the subject, we need to figure this out.”

“Yes, but you’re so tense. We’re supposed to be dancing, you should at least pretend you’re having fun.”

Beau rolled her eyes but started to relax as they moved in step around the square, stepping over someone who had passed out drunk in their way. Suddenly, her eyes widened and she tensed up once more. “Caleb.”

Molly frowned and followed her eyes. “What about him?” Beau dropped his hands and started marching across the dance floor and he scrambled to follow. “Beau? What’s wrong with Caleb?” He pushed his way through messily gyrating dancers who had just completely given up on following along with the song. He nearly lost her and she reached back into the throng to grab him and pull him free.

“I- I don’t know. I saw his coat disappear into that alley,” she said, pointing to one about forty feet away. “It had blood on it. I knew we couldn’t fucking trust these people!” She stormed forward, pulling him along with her. He tried to keep up with her quick stride, stumbling a bit because she was so fucking fast, and looked over his shoulder to see if they were being followed.

They man from before was caught up in the crowd of people that Molly had just been rescued from, struggling to escape. He met Molly’s eyes and glared but couldn’t get free. “Go, we’ve got company.”

Beau scowled and scooped him up in a fireman’s carry over her shoulder, rushing as fast as her feet would take her to where she’d seen Caleb’s coat disappear. “Don’t move too much, I will drop you if you annoy me.” She jogged into the alley but it was empty. She continued jogging through it to the other side, looking both ways when she burst out into the next street. “Fuck. I think I lost him.” This road was empty but they could still hear the music from the square. She was just about to put Molly back down, but paused when she saw a drop of blood. “Hold on.” She touched it with the toe of her sandal. It was still wet. “I think I have a trail. Hold on a little longer.” Molly’s fingers tightened on the back of her cloak.

“Don’t drop me, this is undignified as it is, don’t make it worse.”

“Since when are you fucking dignified? You walked into our room once wearing nothing but a tapestry with warm, soggy fruit on a tray.”

“Point taken.”

She jogged along the trail of blood, following it up the road towards the outskirts of the rundown town and into another alley. There was a shape leaning against the wooden wall, bent over at the waist and clutching at their stomach. They looked up when Beau and Molly entered the alley and sagged in relief.

“Caleb?” she gasped, letting Molly fall to the ground.

Molly hissed and cursed but got to his feet, deciding to wait to get her back for that until after Caleb was safe. He ran over and he and Beau each grabbed one of Caleb’s arms to move him farther into the darkness of the alley in case anyone wandered by or that guard came looking. “What happened to you?” he asked, moving Caleb to sit on the filthy ground and kneel in front of him. 

Beau ripped away Caleb’s shirt from where it was wet and sticking to the bleeding wound on his stomach. She pulled at the bandages on her wrists with her teeth until they came loose and started wrapping the wound to keep pressure on it and hopefully stop the bleeding.

“Hey, keep your eyes open. If you die on me here, I will kill you. Stay awake.”

Caleb was breathing deeply, his eyes blinking like he was on the edge of consciousness. Molly gently took his face to bring Caleb’s eyes up to meet his. “Hey, you’re alright. You’re alright. We’ve got you. What happened?”

“Nott,” he gasped. “They caught her, she was spying and overheard… they wanted our ship. They read the rest of Avantika’s journal-” He gasped and winced. “-her journal. There is some kind of artifact hidden on it and they want it. They will kill us at dinner.”

Molly looked up to meet Beau’s eyes. “I fucking knew it, those goddamn snake motherfuckers. You take care of Caleb, don’t let him die. I’m going to see what I can do.”

Molly nodded and reached up to grab her wrist before she got too far away. She glared down at him but he could see the worry in her eyes. “Don’t die,” he said and she nodded.

“Yeah, you too. Get to the ship, we’ll meet you there.” Then she pulled her hand from his grip and ran out into the street. “Fuck,” he heard her hiss. “Hey, jackass! Over here!” She turned and started running up the street. “Catch me if you can!”

Molly covered Caleb with his body and pushed them both as far into the shadows as possible as several of Ettie’s guards rushed passed the end of the alley, chasing after the disappearing monk. They’d never catch her, not in a million years, Molly wasn’t worried. At least, he could pretend to not be worried, and wasn’t that really the same thing?

He gently slipped an arm under Caleb, around his back, and lifted him up to his feet. “Alright, up you go. Let’s get you to Caduceus. We won’t get far without our wizard, will we?”

“Leave me,” Caleb gasped. “The bleeding has stopped. Save Nott.”

“Beau and the others will get Nott. Right now, I’m focused on saving you.” He checked the street before stepping out into the sunlight and then started shuffling towards the dock. He helped Caleb up onto the dock and laid him against the wooden railing. “Get ready to leave!” Molly called. “We need to be ready to get the fuck out of here when the others arrive!” He heard Orly start shouting orders but kneeled down beside Caleb to check the wound in the light. “Not as bad as it seemed in the dark, my friend, though things rarely are. It’s already stopped bleeding.”

Caleb gasped and winced. “I- I told you that. Go help the others, they need you more than more than I do.”

They both looked towards the city when the ground shook from a fiery explosion. Molly smirked as the rest of the Nein started running out of the smoke. He counted four, plus a small greenish figure in Jester’s arms, being carried like a princess. “I think they have this handled.” He stood up and watched as several well armed and armored people followed his friends out of the smoke. “Let’s go, let’s go! They can jump on when they reach us but we need to move it now!”

Caleb struggled to pull himself to his feet, using the railing and Molly’s shoulder to keep himself up. Her pulled some materials out of his pocket and sent a fireball towards the hoard that was closing it. Molly laughed as pirate bodies when flying and the sail was pulled down. The boat jolted slightly when they caught the wind and they started to move back away from the slip. Molly pulled out a scimitar and sliced the ties that had been keeping the ship from drifting. They were nearing the end of the dock when the others got close enough to embark. Jester shoved Nott into Fjord’s hands and then threw them both up over the railing to crash on the deck, then she gathered up her skirts in his fist and jumped up after them, giggling in delight. Caduceus grabbed onto the side of the ship and started climbing slowly up the wood and over the railing instead of taking his chances with jumping. Beau launched herself through the air just as the end of the ship passed the end of the dock and Molly reached out to catch her by the wrist. She slammed hard into the side of the ship and cursed like a sailor as he pulled her up.

“You call that handling it?”

“We’re not fucking dead, are we? Let’s go fast before they can get their ships out!”

“The canons-” Fjord started, by Caleb interrupted him with a groan. 

“They will not shoot us, they want to catch us. If they sink us, they have no way of getting Avantika’s treasure back. Just keep moving, don’t worry about them, we have to be faster than them.”

Fjord laid Nott against the mast as she started to wake and went up to the helm instead. Molly walked over and smirked at her. “How you feeling? You’re looking a bit green, my friend.”

She groaned in pain and flipped him off. “Fuck you. What-What… What happened?”

“You’re on the boat now,” Molly said instead of explaining it It was all a bit over his head to be honest, he’d let Beau lecture her about being safe and Jester tell the tale in an overly fantastical way, that would be the most entertaining way to do it. “You’re safe, we’re leaving.”

Nott frowned and then her eyes widened. “Artifact! They wanted some kind of artifact off the ship! Avantika hid it and I-”

“We know that,” Molly said. “We found Caleb and he explained it to us.”

“No, no, you don’t get it. I found the artifact. It was hidden under a floorboard in the cargo hold.”

Molly blinked, surprised. “What?”

“Yeah, yeah, like weeks ago I found it. I traded it in Nicodranous for magic learning books.”

Molly stared at her for a moment, then tossed his head back and laughed out loud as the Mighty Nein hurriedly sailed towards the mainland.


End file.
